Romantasy, Reality, and the Painful Truth About Sex
💫 The Problem with Romantasy (and Why It’s Not Just You)
Romantasy books have taken over our nightstands — and let’s be honest, they can be fun.
But here’s the thing: those scenes where the heroine effortlessly welcomes a man the size of a Greek god with zero warm-up, zero discomfort, and apparently zero physics?
That’s not anatomy — that’s fiction.
If you’ve ever found yourself wincing, clenching, or wondering “is something wrong with me?” after reading those scenes or trying to live them out… you’re not broken. You’re human.
🌸 Let’s Normalize This: Not Every Body Fits the Coffee Cup Analogy
Your pelvic floor is a group of muscles — not a magic portal.
If you think about it, it would be unrealistic to expect to fit something the size of a soda can (yes, that’s the average width of an erect penis!) into a space that’s tense, dry, anxious, or hasn’t been given time to warm up.
And yet, that’s what so many of us have been trained to believe sex “should” look like: easy, instant, and pain-free.
But in reality?
Painful sex (dyspareunia) affects up to 1 in 5 women, and for many, the root cause is vaginismus — an involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor muscles that makes penetration painful or impossible.
It’s not “in your head.” It’s your body’s way of saying, “Hey, I don’t feel safe yet.”
🧘♀️ Why “Breathing Always Wins”
Before you reach for another chapter of that romantasy series, try this instead:
Breathe 360° — let your ribs expand gently all the way around.
Relax the jaw, unclench the glutes. (They’re often in on the tension party.)
Ditch the goal. Pleasure starts with connection, curiosity, and safety — not performance.
Because when the nervous system feels safe, the muscles soften.
When the muscles soften, penetration feels possible.
💬 Let’s Rewrite the Narrative
What if we celebrated sex that’s gentle, intentional, and connected instead of expecting Hollywood-level choreography?
What if foreplay wasn’t a warm-up but part of the workout?
What if we gave ourselves permission to say, “This hurts,” without shame?
At Health Elevated, we help women reconnect with their bodies, retrain their pelvic floor, and reclaim pleasure — without pain, pressure, or pretzel poses.
💕 Ready to Feel at Home in Your Body Again?
Painful sex isn’t something you have to “just live with.”
If vaginismus, tightness, or anxiety around intimacy are part of your story, let’s work together to change that chapter. Schedule your appointment today
📍 Health Elevated, PLLC
616 Main Street, St. Joseph, MI
🌐 www.healthelevatedpllc.com
📞 269-262-1403
Because sometimes, the most romantic thing you can do is help your body feel safe again.
